The Life and Projects of An Avid Hobbyist

Monday, April 13, 2009

Guilt

When I lived in Boston I had a very hard time adjusting. While the physical environs were lovely, I found it socially difficult to move around in ways that I was accustomed. It was then that I began practicing yoga. To this day, it continues to be one of the few activities that can calm my anxiety and clear my head. When I moved back to NJ in 2005, I searched for a local studio where I could continue my Iyengar practice.

I tried several places before settling on Starseed Yoga in Montclair, NJ. I loved everything about it. The class schedule was convenient and the staff were careful to re-direct me into a more deep and personal practice. During fall 2008, the studio announced that it's founder JyothiMa was ill. During this season there were a series of events in her honor and to raise funds. I, along with a former colleague, began working on a special quilt to donate towards the effort.

Here it is laid out and un-seamed...
JyothiMa's Quilt

Chakra Quilt

Using batiks in the colors of the chakras, Edna and I began working on Jyothi's quilt. Unfortunately, life got in the way and I never finished it. I has lived on my "things to do" list for months now. Sadly it is pinned and ready for me to finish the piecing. Sadly, it was announced yesterday that Jyothi passed on Saturday.

For many minutes, I was speechless. I was overwhelmed with a sense of guilt in setting out to do something and not finishing it.

I called Edna late last night. After we caught up with each other, I made arrangements to pick up the remnants of the quilt to be finished...soon.

I am sure there are many opportunities for lessons here. Perhaps a lesson for one to not over-commit, to schedule and honor down time, to be diligent and finish what one starts. The lesson I choose is one of acceptance. I took on this endeavor in the purest of spirits and life altered my plans. I can feel guilty about that altered path or I can accept it and move on. I choose acceptance. ~ksp

7 comments:

paula, the quilter said...

I get such a beautiful sense of chakras when I look at this. The yogo studio can still auction this off to (maybe) help with medical bills.

Dionisa said...

Girly, you are so talented!! Love this quilt...

Dionisa said...

Ever thought of selling on Etsy.com?

Kim said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend/yoga mentor. You made the wise decision to choose acceptance rather than beat yourself up. It's a beautiful quilt.
I second the suggestions of the other commenters that maybe the beautiful quilt could be auctioned for a good cause.

Hugs!

Madamefoo said...

Hey Kelli,

Very sorry to hear this news. Try not to feel guilty and finish the quilt in your own time. I'm with Kim, once it has been completed you can possibly auction it off through a great charity organization.

Donna Lee said...

I'd bet she wouldn't want you to feel guilt. The quilt looks like it will be beautiful and you will stitch peace into every seam. Think of the comfort it will bring you.

Jeanine said...

Sometimes life lessons can be hard to bear. Sorry for your loss. Perhaps you can donate the quilt to a worthy cause?